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February 19, 2013

This is a little nerve racking, but I’m going to do it anyways. I’m going to write. I’m just going to write about random shit, and I hope it makes sense. So today, well, it was pretty much one of those “I wanna leave and never come back” days. There is way to many complications and emotions to control and try to save. Why do people say nothing is impossible? Actually, a lot of things are. Who are we kidding? We just say all these things in hope of making ourselves feel better. Inside we know that there is way too much to handle in life. It sucks how you have to pretend to be perfect or pretend to be okay. Yeah, this sounds like all those other teenager posts, but I don’t care. This one is for me, and if the shoe fits, then wear it. I know many people will say I’m just going through my teenager years, and all this other bullshit. Yeah I am going through that, and there is certain things we have to deal with, but honestly there is trouble at all ages in life. We live our whole lives pretending. We pretend to be okay and pretend to not care, but on the inside we all just want a break. Admit it, you know I’m right. I’m not saying we don’t show are feelings, but either we pretend not to care afterwards, or we pretend to get over it so quickly that we don’t give ourselves time to heal, and time to relax. Living this life is hard. I know, there are people out there who are much worse. I understand that, and I am thankful for all I have. All these memories, people, and things in my life that I have been blessed with, they’re all extraordinary. We don’t have time though. We don’t have enough time to appreciate all this, because faster than the speed of sound come around, a hardship occurs. Big or small, a hardship is a hardship. I know I am better off than many, I agree with that. We all fight though. We’ve all been made to fight different battles. This is my battle. This life is the one I’ve been given, and it’s the one I’m talking about. I know there will always be troubles in life, and it’s just a part of life. I know I’m going to have to face much more complicated things in life. I also know that I am greatful for it all; the good and the bad. Here comes the cheesy part: it has made me who I am today. I learn from it, I grow from it, I either prosper or fall from it. No matter what I take from it, it is a part of me and my legacy. It may sound as if I’m complaining, which to be honest, I sort of am, but I’m also just pouring my feelings out. I can’t help how I feel. I will be judged, I will criticized, and I will not care.

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it; not without pain but without stain.” ~C.S. Lewis